tears of absolute joy

It's 12:47 on Saturday, July 12th. I have just finished getting everything together for the Dominican trip I will leave for tomorrow. I sit waiting for my friend to pick me up and bring me to SPCC where I will meet with my team for dinner, attend the service and then head to New York to spend the night before we fly out.

I have been waiting and preparing for this for months. I have been reading and praying and thinking and just so looking forward to this trip. Now it is right around the corner.

Tears fall down my face.. my emotions can't exactly be explained.

I am nervous about missing those from home, excited to meet new people, experience a new culture and encounter God in Jarabacoa.

Above everything else, I am absolutely filled with joy that I have the opportunity and have been lead to this trip. That I will be spending the next couple of weeks with a group of beautiful Christian women whom I will learn so much from. That I will meet new people, delight in the gorgeous children... and be challenged, comforted and encouraged.

Please be praying for me and the others on my team and for the community of Jarabacoa. I will be sure to post pictures and stories when I am home after the 25th!

looking forward

This past week, Vince made reference to someone asking him what he was looking forward to and he replied "Heaven". This was funny because the way he said it made it known that it has been one of those days, or perhaps weeks or even months!

I have been thinking about this for the past few days, however and wow am I looking forward to Heaven more now than ever. Jeff's message this past Sunday was spot on for me and really has made its way into my heart since I heard it.

In our busy lives, it is so easy for us to get our eyes on something and to completely focus on that being our salvation. For example, sometimes when I'm having a tough night, I fixate on the fact that I am babysitting the next day and get to spend eight hours enjoying the innocent beauty of children. Or when I am at the gym and in the middle of a run, I may think all will be well when I reach the 30 minute mark! I look forward to little things like this in my life on a daily basis. I love to them because I think that I will be happier, more grateful, less stressed, etc. when they come.

Then I think about Heaven!! Oh my what a breathtaker that is. As Jeff reminded me, I know not when it will come, but I know that for those who hold on, it will. I know that someday I will be with Jesus and all of His believers forever and ever and ever. And this is a promise that could never be broken. God is the only one any of us can count on to deliver faithfully time and time again.

And aren't we so blessed to be given the gifts that we are to remind of us Heaven each and every day. Next time you look into a loved one's eyes or watch the sunset or hear the rain fall.. when you watch a young child play or hit a note just the way you wanted.. when you are given the chance to travel whether it be across town or across the world, when you are shown grace, patience or love by a stranger.. all of these things are little glimpses of Heaven, of what we will one day enjoy, but for now look forward to.

God's testimony

"The old Brazilian farmer gave me a time-tested principle to take home. he reminded me that there is a certain understandingof God on the cross that comes only with witnessing his daily testimony. There comes a time when we should lay down our pens and commentaries and step out of our offices and libraries. To really understand and belive in the miracle on the cross, we'd do well to witness God's miracles every day." -Max Lucado

whose eyes?

Tonight I was faced with a question that answered a question I have been having for awhile. I am often looked at strangely or negatively commented when I make optomistic statements or try and look toward the future rather than dwelling on the past or something that I can't do anything about. This has confused me for quite some time and has saddened me greatly when friends get angry at me about it.

The question I was prompted with tonight was: Do you form your idea of what God is like by the things that happen around you? Or do you think of the things that happen around you based on who God is?

God has worked in my heart in amazing ways and has helped me to move toward the second of these two options. For awhile I asked questions like "well how is there a God if children are starving?", "why have I had so much hurt my life if God is love?", etc, etc. I was basing my opinion of God on the representation of Him by people and things in this world.

Bad move!! Not until I dove into the Bible and began to learn about God's heart could I begin to truly understand Him for who He really is. The stage where I was doubtful and questioning was necessary, for sure as a seeker. I am glad that I asked the questions that I did and I am certainly more glad that God revealed the answers to me.

So the next time I speak optomistically, matter of factly or extremely compassionately (and trust me, I don't do a great job of keeping this view all of the time), know that it is because God is working in my heart to help me know Him better. He is using people, places and things of this world to help me better understand who He is.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: Q

God is quiet.. or is He?

Some may say that God is completely silent and that He doesn't ever speak. Well, they are partially correct. God doesn't use an audible voice to speak to us. As Vince once said during a sermon-- that would be creepy and we would be checking in our closets for strangers!

God uses the Holy Spirit to speak to our minds and to our hearts. He uses His word, people, situations.. anything!

So yes, His "still, small voice" is in fact silent, but He is God and doesn't need audible words to change our lives.

The ABCs of God's Goodness: P

God is perfect.

"Practice makes perfect". I can't tell you how many times I heard that growing up in my dance classes and then later on on my cheerleading teams. But no matter how we practiced, we would never get a perfect score at competition. A girl may fall from a stunt, our tumbling would be out of sync, our technique not as sharp as it ought to be. I learned (not so quickly) that practice does not make perfect. There is no such thing as perfect on this Earth.

But our God is perfect. He didn't have to practice anything to get that way, He just is. His thoughts, actions and desires are all perfectly perfect. What a relief that our Creator is absolutely PERFECT and even though we were meant to be that way but messed it up, He and His perfectness have it under control.

Thoughts from Donald Miller

A few weeks ago I realized that the reason I couldn't finish a book for my life was because I wasn't enjoying the kind of books I was reading. In the beginning of my journey I loved the instructional types of books that offered me tools to help me grow as a Christian and become closer to Christ. I would honestly sit down and read a book like that in one sitting. It was fascinating to me as I was eager to learn and grow. Now, however, I read a chapter and I am bored with the material. I thought for a while that something was wrong, that perhaps this was one of my warning signs that I was straying away.

After a recent visit to Barnes and Noble, I have decided that that isn't the case at all!! I just needed a new kind of book. I purchased Through Painted Deserts by Donald Miller, among a few others. This was a great story of how he found and saw God on a road trip through the west, living simply in the back of a van with a good friend. I highly recomment this book to anyone who wants to hear an honest account of his faith journey, the questions he asked, the troubles he faced and the beautiful God that he found.

I also recommend Blue Like Jazz by Miller which I have recently borrowed from the SPCC library and can't seem to put down! Here are just a few of Miller's thoughts that have really grabbed my attention:

-I think every conscious person, every person who is awake to the functioning principles within his reality, has a moment where he stops blaming the problems of the world, on humanity and authority, and starts to face himself. I hate this more than anything. This is the hardest principal within Christian spirituality for me to deal with. The problem is not out there, the problem is the needy beast of a thing that lives inside my chest.

I love the truth and conviction that rings out of this. He later goes on to talk about how we all need to let go of ourselves a bit more each day until we learn to live for others. This is one of the fundamental ideas about Christianity, but poured out in an honest, new way.

-I don't think you can explain how the Christian faith works, either. It is a mystery and I love that about Christian spirituality. It cannot be explained, and yet it is beautiful and true. It is something you feel and it comes from the soul.

Now people may be saying, "well duh!" but others might now. And when reading about Don's journey throughout this book and the last that I read, I can appreciate how he has truly sought out God and felt him in his heart, tugging at and comforting his soul.

Please do yourself a favor and check out some of Donald Miller's writing if you haven't already!!